Once upon a time, there was a single Black woman with zero options (SBWWZO) who didnt have a date on Valentine's Day. She didn't have a boyfriend to send her flowers, or a guy to call her just to say "I love you". She didn't even expect a man to send her a "Happy VDay" text. And she was perfectly fine with that.
There is this unsubstantiated theory that if a woman is alone on Valentine's Day, she is bitter and lonely. There are some who fall in to this category, but not all. Some of us use the day to express love to our friends and family. Others of us may use the day to reflect on the love that we've already had, and the love we're sure to gain in the future. And, then there are some of us who go about the day just as we did on February 13th.
All of us are not bitter. Some may, for a fleeting moment, long for special attention on this day, but then they go about living their lives as they were the moment before. Then there are many of us who don't even care. All is not lost if you don't have a valentine.
I am not writing this to prove anything to anyone. I just think that those of us who happen to be single and female, have been bombarded with many untrue stereotypes concerning what we want and how we feel about relationships. The thought that some of us just might be happy with ourselves and our single status seems to never be an option when this discussion arises.
When it comes to Valentine's Day, another 24 hours without a man has never killed anybody. Being alone may quite possibly be the best thing for those of who are working on our personal and professional lives.
My V-Day will consist of the gym, work, and school, in that order. I probably wouldn't be able to celebrate the day even if I had a man in my life.
One thing is for sure, even though I rep SBWWZO proudly, I still have an unflinching love for...LOVE. I admire and respect those who have found their "one", and it makes me extremely happy to help couples celebrate in that love. A friend of one of my long ago ex's from high school* recently posted a video from his wedding day (9/10/2011) on Facebook and I jumped at the chance to share it here.
I've always said that if I ever do get married, it'll probably be something small or we'll run off to Vegas, but this video nearly made me change my mind. It plays somewhat like a documentary/reality show, with scenes from throughout their day melded together, including before the wedding, with John Legend** playing in the background.
If you see this vid and don't smile, your heart is made of coal, and you quite possibly need a grandmotherly hug.
Whether you have a "friend", boo, boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, or just your mama or best friend to love on, I hope you enjoy today the best way you know how. :)
*My high school ex is the burly bearded linebacker lookin' groomsman.
**I was kind of perturbed because I thought I was the only one who wanted to play that John Legend song at their wedding lol
2 comments:
Great perspective! As for me, I wish they'd mix up these special days...maybe have one to celebrate womens' accomplishments, another about people's achievement/enjoyment of the arts, another to celebrate people's contributions to building a community.
Finding a boo? Meh. :) True, it can be nice, but there's so much more to life, especially a woman's life!
The best line here is 'the love you are sure to get'. With that attitude,you can't be bitter.
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